Praying in ASL

On Wednesday, I got a text asking me if I could pray at our Stake Relief Society conference on Saturday. They'd asked some other people to pray who were unavailable for some reason or another, so they were asking me as someone who was sure to be coming and wouldn't mind being asked last-minute. I'm cool with that :)

For some reason, I sorta felt like as a member of the ASL branch, I ought to pray in ASL. Then I thought, "that's silly, I can pray a lot better in English." Or, "That would draw unnecessary attention to myself." Or "that will just confuse a lot of people." And there were a lot of reasons, but still, it seemed like I ought to be using my "church language." So I floated the idea, and it was enthusiastically accepted.

So, I prayed in ASL.

There ended up only being one deaf person there, but a whole bunch of people who sign better than I do, and in the end, I felt a little awkward about the whole thing. Certainly not because anybody gave any negative feedback - everyone was very supportive. But I was just nervous at being misunderstood. I wasn't praying in ASL to be a novelty or show off. And I'm just nervous that someone felt that way.

And, I'm trying to avoid saying this, but I guess I'll just be honest. I'm afraid of sticking my hand up to be an ambassador for the branch or for Deaf culture in any way. The reason is simple: I barely have my pinkie toe dipped in Deaf culture. But I also feel a compulsion to share what I'm learning with other people who are standing on the shore, a little nervous about dipping their toes. In some ways, I'm exactly who they need to hear from.

So, I prayed in ASL.