Learning to love sharing the gospel

Sharing the Gospel. It's an important thing to Christians, since the last thing Jesus told his disciples before he ascended to heaven was, "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost." And it's exciting to get to be part of the gathering on Israel prophesied for the last days (see Isaiah 54:7, for example.) I really believe the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has some wonderful truths that nobody else in the world teaches, and it's a great blessing to get to teach these things to my friends and neighbors. But sometimes, I get a little discouraged because nobody seems as excited about this message as I am.

A few weeks ago, Marriner went to a meeting where one of our favorite thinkers asked the important question, "How do we get people to LOVE sharing the gospel?"

Well, that's a good question. Because I used to love sharing the gospel, and I sort of got tired and busy and sick of rejection and awkwardness, and I'd sort of given up on it. Especially since we're in an ASL branch, and guess what - I don't actually know any Deaf people that I don't already go to church with. So inviting someone to come to church with us doesn't really make a lot of sense. Yadda-yadda-yadda...the reasons (aka excuses) are many.

I mean, it's not just sharing the gospel. I think every good thing that brings us to Jesus has a way of getting crowded out by the cares of the world. I can easily recall feelings of stress associated with going to the temple, reading the scriptures, praying, going to church, visiting other members of the church,  and doing service over the course of my life. But those are the very things that make me (and other people) happy. So I guess that's a good first step - realize that things can stress you out temporarily and make you happy in the long run. You know, like taking piano lessons :)

So this last month, our family has tried to find the joy in sharing the gospel again. We prayed and fasted and tried to be brave and talk to people more. Everyone (over the age of 5) did something to invite someone to learn something about the gospel. Except me. Because I don't actually talk to people other than my own kids :) But I felt bad that everyone else had done something brave and I hadn't. And I think that's when my prayers started to be more sincere. I really did want to share the gospel with people who need it. I just want to do it the right way, the way that makes the Lord happy. And I think that He does want us to share the gospel in a way that shows love, not being pushy or awkward.

When my prayers became more sincere was when things started to happen. A couple of things stand out. I'm part of a Facebook group called "The Many" that involves women from diverse political backgrounds in an area to listen and understand others' points of view. It's a neat group. One day, a new member joined and mentioned she was LDS. Someone asked her a question about it, and eventually the Mormons in the group opened up a post where we would answer any question anyone wanted to ask about our religion. The discussion was fabulous. The other Mormons in the group knew their doctrine, were articulate and explained things so simply and clearly. (I hope I did, too!) It was cool how we all had different answers and viewpoints, but we all matched completely in our explanation of the doctrine. The questions were serious and well-thought out. Most of these women had some exposure to the church, and many of them had some weird ideas. Almost all of the discussions ended with an expression of gratitude for explaining something that hadn't made sense before, but now seemed really rational!

Some of the questions we took:

• Have you seen "The Book of Mormon?" If so, did you find it offensive?
• Are the garments hot?
• Do Mormons believe the sun and moon are inhibited? (*inhabited)
• Why are Mormon ceremonies (like weddings) closed to non-Mormons?
• Can women occupy the most senior leadership positions of the church? Can they lead the church itself? If not, why? Why are men more qualified? Do women hold equal representation in the most senior leadership councils? Are female Mormon children told that they can hold equal leadership and decision making positions as boys in the senior levels of the church?
• Most of what I know about Mormons come from Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer. Have you read it? What did you think about it?
•  I had a conversation a few years ago with some Mormon young men on their mission trip in Argentina. I’m a Christian and I was happy to talk with them, but also made it clear that I’m satisfied in my faith. They seemed really well intentioned of course but wouldn’t take no for an answer, basically, and I was struck by how they kept saying Christianity and Mormonism is the same thing, while simultaneously inviting me to consider switching over or “upgrading” (my impression, not their word choice) to Mormonism. I guess I’m curious about your perspective on how Mormons see Christianity, and if you’d explain the similarities and differences in those terms or in others.
•  I spent a week in Salt Lake City about 3 years ago, and visited the open Temple areas, the various buildings and exhibits, "This is the Place", near the zoo, and saw the movie about Joseph Smith and the founding. I am Jewish and noticed a lot of parallels, from the persecutions to the wandering in the desert to even seeing what looked like Jewish stars on some of the buildings. What is the historical and current perspective on the relationship between the Torah and story of the Jews and the Mormons? Is it something discussed or recognized?

Yeah, I wish more people would ask me questions like that! These are women who are really thinking about things, and I love it! And I love that I got a chance to change the way these women think about the church. You know, my church really does seem weird if you don't have the whole background story.

One thing Marriner and I realize is that our efforts to share the gospel are probably not going to help our branch grow at all, because we don't have any deaf friends. Not that I share the gospel so our branch can grow, but a few more people at church would definitely be a nice side perk :) But oddly enough, in the last 2 weeks, both of us have met deaf people while we've been out and about in the community. Actually, my story has a funny part, so I'll tell it :) I went to Aldi one evening to grab some ranch dressing because we were having sweet potatoes with black beans and ranch for dinner. It's the BEST. But it stinks without ranch dressing, and we had run out. I walked into the store, and there were 3 people signing to each other. One black couple, older than I am, and a white guy about my age. The whole thing was a-typical. I don't see many white people at our Aldi, and I've never seen one signing there before :) Ha ha! I walked up and said hi, and the 2nd thing I'm asked (after "are you deaf?") is, "Oh, are you married to him?" (See previous comment about not many white people at our Aldi...) Anyway, we talked for a bit, and I gave them my mommy card, and one of them noted that it had a link to my profile on Mormon.org. He said he'd had a Mormon interpreter once, back when he'd first moved here, and she was really nice. He couldn't remember her name. It didn't take long to figure out, it was Meredith. He had nice things to say about you, Meredith :)

The Facebook group has a second chapter. As part of the discussion, someone asked what drew us to this church. I answered that it was because I love the Book of Mormon, and I love it so much I'd gladly send a free copy to anyone else who wanted to read it. Well, last Sunday, a person messaged me and said yes, they would like to read it, and gave me her address! It just made my day. I was 100% sincere that the Book of Mormon is the best thing in the world. I can't imagine another person reading it and not having a better life because of it. I'm so excited I could help someone hook up with it!

So, the end result of all this is that I feel great. I'm having opportunities to tell people about my amazing church and the amazing things I know about God's plan for his children in ways that aren't awkward or forced, and I'm even getting to do it in ASL a little bit! It makes me happy, and I enjoy it. I just have to keep having that faith that I can share the gospel, and not let the business of my life stress me out.

Mischievous Martha

Yeah, some more Martha...

Martha's struggling a bit with Nursery. There are 2 1/2 kids in Nursery - Martha, C4 (as he is called affectionately, because he's the 4th boy in his family, all with "C" names) and Jane. Jane's not technically old enough to be in Nursery yet, but Clorinda loves her and knows it makes it a lot easier for me to teach singing time, so she usually grabs her for the last half of Nursery and feeds her snacks to win her love :)

I don't know if Martha is jealous or what, but she's been a bit of a snot the last few weeks in Nursery. But ain't it the truth, whenever a 3 year old is being a snot, there's a grown-up trying really hard not to laugh at them! Here's the story from this week:

Yay! It's snack time! C4 comes and sits down, Jane waddles over to the table, and Martha just sits on the floor, smiling and not moving. Ok, fine, you don't have to eat if you don't want to. So Clorinda turns to help Jane, and when she turns around, Martha has moved. To be precise, she is wrapped around C4 in a way I recognize, even though I wasn't there, because she does it to Jane sometimes, too. I call it the "unfriendly bear hug". Clorinda runs over and rescues C4, who cries and signs, "I don't like her!" But Martha smiles and (as far as the teacher could understand - toddlers speak a special dialect in ASL, too!) signs, "I feel good!"

Seriously. And I am very impressed at Clorinda for staying serious and teaching Martha to be nice instead of laughing her head off at the weird things toddlers say.

Sometimes, when we're doing sign language dinners, Martha will talk to us and we'll sign back, "I'm deaf today, I can't understand you. You have to sign!" I think this has confused Martha a bit...

A little later in Nursery, Martha was talking to Clorinda, who signed, "I can't hear you, I'm deaf! You have to sign!" Martha ignored her and kept on talking. Clorinda insisted. Finally, Martha rolled her eyes and signed, "FINE! Can I have some water please?"

Honestly, I'm not even sure Martha gets what deaf means. To her, it's the equivalent of someone who wants her to use sign language. But so many of the people she signs with can hear her, or they read her lips enough to figure out what she wants, that I think she really doesn't think ASL is all THAT important. She just signs to humor everyone.

ASL is tricky for hearing kids. I think deep down inside, whenever they're signing, they're thinking that life would be a lot easier if they could just talk instead. I think most of the kids in Primary have little rebellions against signing. They sit backward on their chair so they can't see anything. They talk continuously while the teacher is signing. They tell their mom they don't want to go to Primary. I think it's just because they don't want to have to pay attention that hard for 2 more hours. Maybe I'm observing all wrong. But regardless, it's nice to know it's not just my kid :)

In which Lige limps to the finish line

It's a little past my bedtime, and I've had the same conversation with myself about 10 times before finally settling down to write. It goes like this:

"I want a little snack..." and I walk upstairs. I look around the kitchen a bit.

"Oh yeah, actually, I'm not hungry. I'm actually sort of full."

"But I feel lousy. Eating will help me feel better!"

"No, you're not hungry, you're tired. Going to sleep would help you feel better!"

"But I can't go to sleep yet...so...can I eat some ice cream instead?"

"Actually, that doesn't even sound very good. I guess I'll go get something done."

I'd be really proud of my self-mastery if I hadn't repeated the conversation so many times :) But I think I've finally stopped wandering around my house and settled down to write something. And I'm thinking about my experiences this week, and if I had any interesting ones....

I think I'll give some time to Lige this week. Whenever Lige comes up in conversation, he's described as "a good kid." That's him in a nutshell. He had a really busy last week of school. He had an application due for a national science fair he'd qualified to enter, a project for all of his combined classes due (yay for his teachers not quitting two weeks before school ended!) and a big piano concert on Saturday. He had 2 big dress rehearsals on Thursday and Friday nights, 3 hours each, then the concert. With everything, he really didn't have very much time to practice his song, and he was nervous about that.

I hadn't realized how nervous he was until after the fact. I ran into the mom who was in charge of the green room at the library. I don't know many of the families in the piano studio, but this family has the same violin teacher, as well, so we're starting to get to know each other. :) She has a very religious family, similar to ours, and it turns out we have one more thing in common - she learned sign language years ago when she served with her church's Deaf ministry! She told me that she was impressed by Lige because when he got nervous, he would go to a couch that was fairly private and start signing. She (knowing ASL herself) was very interested in what he was doing until she realized that he was praying. Then she turned her head and gave him some privacy. But she still told his mom about it. Because moms know that other moms are happy when they learn their child is praying without being told.

Poor Lige, he got done with his piano concert and the next day started showing signs of the stomach virus that has been making its slow way through our family. He spent most of the day Monday on the couch wrapped up in a blanket, despite the toasty temperature in our house until we finally broke down and turned on the A/C at dinner time. But Monday evening, he didn't get to rest any more. He had to pack for Stake Young Men camp, so he could leave at 7 the next morning! He made it, he got a good night's rest, and was off on time in the morning.

In the afternoon came the text from his leader with the things he'd forgotten :)

But never fear, Wednesday night is Bishop's night and Lige is not only the Branch President's son, he's the only kid from the branch attending, so he gets 100% of the Branch President's attention. If he forgot his stuff, he shall have it!

After all, he's a good kid, and he makes a lot of sacrifices for the cause. We don't mind him occasionally getting a perk, as well. But he'd better not get used to it....oh wait, his dad will probably be his branch president until he leaves for college. Ok, fine, Lige, you never have to worry about packing everything for camp ever again.

My first Iftar

Today is the end of Ramadan (and Flag day, which is important, but not related to this post). My main relationship with Ramadan is trying to remember to not invite my Muslim friends to go to a party or a camp out with us while they're fasting. But since we don't have a TON of Muslim friends, it doesn't make much of a difference in my normal life.

Actually, I have one funny story about Ramadan. A couple years ago, my family adopted a refugee family from Somalia who had just arrived in the US. It was a great experience, we enjoyed befriending them and learning about each other. During Ramadan, I talked to Duniyo (the mom) and she explained to me how it works. She seemed a little wary at sounding weird, and I was happy to let her know that my church fasts, too! She asked how often, I told her, "Once a month, for 1 day." She replied, "Just 1 day?" I laughed and admitted that our method of fasting was much more pleasant than theirs. But whenever I'm feeling hungry on Fast Sunday, I remember that conversation.

Ok, so give Muslims respect, Ramadan isn't exactly easy religion!

Ramadan is a month of fasting every day during sun-up. After the sun sets, you wash, pray, then you can eat. This meal is called "Iftar".

Last night, a Deaf Muslim group sponsored an inter-faith Iftar - to share their religion with others, and to learn about other religions, as well. A member of our branch was asked to represent our church, so I went to support and enjoy.

(Actually, Marriner was going to go, and I was going to be a homebody taking care of the kids...but Marriner got the stomach virus that's now made it's way through half of our family, so I went instead. Not to wish a stomach virus on anybody, but I'm sorta glad I had to get out of my comfort zone - as in, the part of me that doesn't drive anywhere in the evening because I hate traffic! - and go do something cool!)

Leaving home in the evening - ugh. Going to an event where I don't know many people and have to make polite conversation - that's hard for most people, myself included. Attending an event in ASL - surprisingly not scary to me any more. Oh, I still don't understand half of what's going on. But I now know how to ask someone to tell me what a sign means, or to spell slower, and it just doesn't stress me out any more. I just enjoy taking in what I can, and contributing to the conversation when I can, and when I get lost, I just wait until it comes back to something I can understand.

This was my first non-church Deaf event (I mean, there were plenty of Mormons there, but it wasn't a branch activity). That was a stretch - I'm much better at signing about church things than random topics like, "What country is this food from?"

And, the food was from a middle eastern restaurant and an Indian restaurant, and it was delish. Just the type of food I like. I had to restrain myself from eating with my hands - that would be very bad for conversation :) The Indian thingy I had was so spicy it made me cry. But baklava wiped that away like a gem. Oh yeah, and there was a tray of lumpia, too, even with the sweet chili sauce. Wha? Awesome!

The middle of June

This is a post without a punchline, just journaling about our week.

Was it just last week that President Nelson spoke to the youth and gave them 5 challenges to prepare for the work of the Gathering of Israel? That's been a big part of the week. Marriner and I decided to join the youth in the challenges. First, he challenged the youth to take a 7 day fast from social media. I'm part of a Facebook group of a diverse collection of women committed to listening to people with different opinions to understand their positions (especially political) better. Not trying to convince anyone, just understand. On Saturday, a question came up about Mormons, and the Mormons in the group opened an "ask us anything you want about our church" thread. It was pretty amazing, one of the neatest missionary opportunities I've ever had. A lot of the members of the group just had some weird ideas. So that was neat. But I didn't feel like that was a great time to start a social media fast, so I waited until Wednesday to start. I'll admit - it hasn't been easy. I use Facebook when I'm tired and want to veg a bit. And what do I do when I can't? That's been a tough question to answer. I've read the news some more. I've tried to think of projects I'm interested in and research them a bit. I've tried to make myself get up and do something more often. Sometimes, I just want some adult interaction. So I've called friends some more, done things the old fashioned way - one on one. That's been good. But sometimes, I still want to get on the internet and tell everyone about the funny thing my kid just did. In other words, it hasn't been enjoyable or easy, but it's been good for me :)

Another one of the challenges was to make a sacrifice of time for 3 weeks to help the work of the Lord. We decided to use date night for that. Marriner set up for us to go with the missionaries to teach a new member lesson on Friday night. That was just fabulous. It was fun to get to visit and fun to teach. It reminded me of my mission sometimes, when you're trying to teach something, and you know how fabulous it is, but you're just hoping that what you're feeling is what you're actually saying. Of course, this is how we know the gospel is true - people still gain testimonies even though we do such a poor job of expressing things. One of the missionaries was brand new, so the two of us were pretty quiet. Marriner, on the other hand, is not quiet, and actually contributed to the lesson. Good for him :)

On Sunday, the branch president (who is really just a wonderful guy, I must say) asked all the youth to share a little 2-5 minute testimony of their thoughts and experiences from the fireside. Lige did a great job of signing really clearly and understandably about how he felt a call to repentance on being a missionary. The other youth gave really powerful testimonies, too. The neat thing was that they'd all listened to the fireside, then they'd all gone and acted, and had spiritual experiences as a result. How powerful is that! They were so inspirational to me.

Our sharing time lesson this week was all about hearing the Holy Ghost. The lesson used a lot of sound analogies to explain how the Holy Ghost works. Even though everyone involved in the lesson was hearing, it just kept striking me as inappropriate for a Deaf branch to have a lesson completely based on sound. I guess I want our class to be accessible to anyone who may show up - branch leader, visiting child, whatever. So I spent some time thinking and praying about how to adapt the lesson for our branch. In the end, we used a visual analogy, with the Holy Ghost sending a written message for them to receive. I was really pleased with how the lesson went (even though no Deaf person dropped by) and really felt like the Holy Ghost had helped me out.

Well, it's my bedtime, so no more stories from me today. Thanks for reading!

"I love and like EVERYONE in the WORLD!"

As I walked into the church foyer today, Martha ran off. I shouted, (as quietly as I could...) "Hey, Martha, come back!" but she didn't hear me. Ellis said, "She's going to give Sister M a hug." What?!? Martha has been so shy around the adults in the branch. But she went in to the chapel and hugged every single woman in there with the biggest smile you ever saw. (The men were all bustling about getting things ready, I don't know if she would have been brave enough to hug any of them...)

Martha's old nursery teacher was called to serve somewhere else, and Martha misses her terribly. She saw her during sacrament meeting and sweetly smiled at her for 10 straight minutes.

When she went to nursery, she decided for some reason that she's now friends with her new nursery teachers. When it was time to part, she told her teacher "I love and like you!" and gave her a big hug and her winning smile. Her teacher was shocked - usually Martha just gives her looks of suspicion :) Now they're best friends!

Martha's only 3. I prepared lessons and props, taught object lessons and songs, but in the end, I wonder if Martha didn't do more to further the work of the Lord today than I did. She shared the love of Jesus with everyone, lifting and lightening everyone she touched.

After church, she declared (in English), "Mom, I love and like EVERYONE in the WORLD!" What a great thing that is.

Sam's turn!

Well, we all know Martha's main purpose in life is being really adorable learning sign language. But it turns out that Sam does really adorable things, too! He's just really camera shy - and more aware of parents being sneaky! But I caught him the other day, finally :)

As you can tell, he totally saw me, but he was having a fun time playing with my tablet, and he was afraid if he talked to me, I'd tell him to put it away. So we sorta mutually looked over each other's crimes.

This first one is Sam signing "I am a Child of God," which, alas, was interrupted by Lige wanting to give Sam a fancy pocket hanky :) It's really pretty close to the way we sign it in Primary, too :)

This next one is, "If the Savior stood beside me." Sam turns around when he can't remember how it goes because the signs are posted on the wall behind him to help Mom practice. It's a hard song! I don't think he actually USED the papers, though - they were up too high for him. I can tell because he's making up his own translation in that section :)

The other reason I really just love this video is because it's soooo realistic. I watch the ending and think, "Yup, that's my family in a nutshell! Signing beautiful songs one moment, smacking our sisters the next. And a mom who keeps on taking a movie instead of jumping up and stopping the fighting." Good thing I have my priorities straight! :)

Listening to the Prophet

Last night was pretty awesome. There was a a special meeting for all the youth age 12-18 to listen to the prophet, President Russel M. Nelson, speak to them. For historical perspective, the only other time the prophet has spoken just to the youth of the church was in 2000, with President Gordon B. Hinkley. I was not a youth (and I was in the Philippines) so I didn't get to go to that one. Fortunately, parents were invited to this talk! :)

Ellis is 11 years and 9 months old. We let her come, too. Shhhh, don't tell anyone.

Youth groups were encouraged to meet and watch the broadcast together, but this is more complex when your mom or dad has to drive you an hour each way to the church. So they decided to meet by Facebook! We all joined a group video chat before the broadcast, had brief remarks from the Branch President, then said an opening prayer. Then we turned it off and watched the broadcast with our families.

It's not perfect. You have to sign slowly. It's hard to tell who is signing to whom. But it was beautiful to me to feel like my kids aren't alone. Sometimes we feel pretty alone. And we don't mind. But feeling like part of a group is great. It's only 7 kids (if you count Ellis) from 4 families, but we're a group!

The broadcast was quite fabulous. The youth were given some specific challenges to help them become more useful in the work of the Lord. It turns out that they were pretty great ideas for moms and dads, too, so Marriner and I are joining in. I sure love our prophet. I'm excited to do what he asked. Because, you know, you're only as old as you feel, so I totally count myself in his target audience. Here they are:

1. Hold a seven-day fast from social media. ("Take a break from the fake." Awesome!)

2. Make a weekly sacrifice of time to the Lord for three weeks.

3. Keep on the covenant path. If you are off, repent and get back on the path.

4. Pray daily that all of God’s children might receive the blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

5. Stand out. Be different. Be a light. Give to a friend one copy of the booklet For the Strength of Youth.

For #2, we had a hard time thinking of something we could do. Honestly, we don't spend much time doing things that aren't for the Lord, already. We sorta feel like that's the big measuring stick of life: if it doesn't make a difference in the long run, then don't do it. But we had a little inspiration that we could use our next 3 date nights to do service together. That way it's a date AND it's doing the work of the Lord! And since a strong marriage is the work of the Lord, it counts DOUBLE! Yeah baby :) 

In which blogging finally pays off

I have heard about people making money by blogging. Personally, I think being a professional blogger seems exhausting, but don't we all have a little dream deep down inside that our hobby will suddenly become really popular and we'll be rich and famous? So I guess there's a part of me that thinks that I should get SOMETHING for all of this excellent writing :)

You can tell it's excellent writing by the way I use emojis. Very professional.

It's not even an emoji. It's a colon-parenthesis smiley face. The height of writing sophistication.

But this week, my blogging paid off! It all started back in...like...2005 or something...when we met Donald and Laura Mueller in grad school. They were some of my favorite people pretty quickly.

Ok, now we'll skip forward to 2018, when the Mueller's son won his regional spelling bee and qualified for the NATIONAL Spelling Bee, held at National Harbor, a short 4 miles from our house!! They contacted us for traveling information, and of course they came to visit us when they got to town, and it was SO. MUCH. FUN. reuniting with them. (Another example of sophisticated writing...) They're still some of my favorite people.

Of course, now you are all wondering how their son did in the spelling bee - he did wonderfully! He missed the cut-off for the final by only 1 point, which puts him at about 46th (or was it 43rd?) out of 500 participants. Wow.

But the part that relates to this blog is that Laura had read my blog, including my gush about Tostitos chipotle salsa. So she brought me some!! I mean, who has friends that not only read your blog, but also remember things in it AND bring them to you?!? Me, it turns out! After they left this afternoon, I put my kids down for naps, got a bag of chips, and dipped in. It was lovely.

So, any of you other loyal readers out there... (.....crickets chirping....) Ah, never mind.

Us with the famous person! He's the one in the back by Marriner. And Laura - I chose this pic out of the 3 we took because this is the only one you could see the celebrity's face. Ha ha! Great at spelling, but still a kid :)