Just like Grandpa

It was 11 months ago this week that we got the shock of our lives at being called to join the Washington DC branch. This week, a story I wrote about our experiences came out in The Friend magazine. The Friend is the children's magazine of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I've written a few stories for them in the past, based on my children's experiences. After our momentous day last September, I knew that I should write about it. I decided to tell about an experience with Lige. Since he's technically older than the target age for the magazine, I aged him down a bit, and adjusted a few of the details to accommodate that. I changed the long story of why Lige knew some ASL to just say, "he'd learned some in school." Other than that, I didn't change much for this story. Re-reading about that experience, I am impressed by what a good answer I gave Lige! :) Ok, fine, what a good answer the Holy Ghost gave Lige, through me. Interestingly, Lige hardly remembers this conversation. I think a lot of things from that week are a blur in our memories :) But it was there when he needed it.

Just like Grandpa

As it turns out, Lige has made GREAT friends in the branch. And he sees his friends from the ward at Scouts still, because the two troops decided to meet together. The Lord HAS taken care of all my children, and helped them to have joy in the journey. And I'm totally cool with them marrying any of the kids they've met in the branch, so maybe their experience will be JUST LIKE their Great-great-great-great grandpa's! :) (When my kids were little, I used to arrange marriages with all my friends' kids...because what could be better than your son marrying your best friend's daughter? Unfortunately, they're getting old enough that they don't think this joke is funny any more...but it's a hard habit to break.)

This is William Augustia Turner. (The illustrator didn't guess too bad, did he!) After prayerfully listening to some missionaries from the Church for many months, he decided to be baptized in October 1848. I wonder if he anticipated how much that covenant to follow Jesus Christ would change his life? He found that persecution grew against his new church, and in 1854 he sailed for America. He joined other members of the church in Salt Lake City, Utah, a new city less than 10 years old in the desert. I'm sure the hot and dry weather was a shock for a young man from dreary England. (At least, that's the word my sister north of London uses to describe the weather there...) But I can only imagine how he must have felt when he was asked to go with a group to southern Utah to try to grow cotton. And, it's true, he really didn't like it there. Mother Nature didn't cooperate with them, either. Flash floods ruined most of their work year after year. But he did marry my great-great-great-great Grandmother, Amelia, while he was there! So I say it was worth it :)

William Augustia has always been one of my favorite ancestors. His willingness to do whatever the Lord needed has been bedrock to me in my life, and an example I try to emulate every day. One time, when asked to do something at a great sacrifice, he simply said, "God grant that I may never shirk my duty." That's the sort of family I come from, and his example has blessed yet another generation now to have the courage to do hard things for the Kingdom of God. I'm excited to meet him someday, and tell him thanks for being part of what has brought me here to where I am now. 

Best. Package. Ever.

Hmmm....several months ago, I wrote about my favorite salsa. A month later, a friend showed up with my favorite salsa in a gift bag. Woohoo!!

Last week, I wrote about my favorite sore throat "remedy" (or, sore finger in this case...) - Werther's. Well, guess what happened....

Saturday afternoon, an unexpected package showed up in the mail from Marriner's aunt (and, as I frequently tell her, she's our FAVORITE aunt, at least on that branch of the family, because she lived in Ohio when we were in Indiana, and we pretty much adopted her as surrogate mom.) This is what was inside:

Yes, not one, not two, but THREE bags of Werther's. And I have to say, my finger feels way better now! It works!

Due to my sudden largess, I decided to share with the Primary kids who were the cause of it all. I took them to Primary and gave out Werther's for singing one of their songs the most-beautiful-and-wonderful-ever-make-your-mom-cry. Since they're not used to singing that intensely, they only got one treat, but I'm sure next week will give me more chances to share :) We're working on getting ready for the Primary Sacrament Meeting Program, which is a big deal and a lot of work. The Primary is in charge of Sacrament meeting, and we sing songs, give talks, and show everything we've learned this year. So I used the Werther's to remind the kids that all the hard work is "Worth it."

So next week, I'm going to find some way to link ASL to....fondue? Steak? Milkshakes?

I was trying to hit "publish" on this post, but I just couldn't...I mean, what if someone actually tries to send me a milkshake? So just to clarify - I'm just joking. I don't really need fondue, or steak or milkshakes. I would start to feel a little guilty of taking advantage of my friends....

Linking generations

I just had a sweet moment with Lige before he went to bed. I asked him what his favorite part of today was, and he said it was probably Brother Wardle's Sunday School class. (High-five, Bro. W!) They talked a bit about being multi-lingual, and what that meant to each of them. Lige then started to tell me how much ASL meant to him because it helped him with his dream to be like his Great-Grandpa Turner. We usually call him Great-Grandpa Norman, so our son Samuel Norman will recognize which grandpa we're talking about. Great-Grandpa Norman loves languages. And, one of the things in life I'm most grateful for, he wrote an autobiography that my kids love reading.

If you haven't written an autobiography, you're really making a mistake. One of my greatest wishes in life is that I had a book like that for all my grandparents. But for some reason, they all think their lives were boring. I'm here to tell you all: your life isn't boring to your grandkids. They think it's FASCINATING.

Ok, soap box over.

Great-Grandpa Norman was a normal country-bumpkin from rural Utah until he decided to serve a mission. He was called to serve in France. He loved it. He convinced his mother (who knows how) to let him stay in Europe and study a bit before he came home. So he went to Spain and learned Spanish, then (seriously) hitch-hiked across Northern Africa with a girl he barely knew to get to Italy and learn Italian. When he got home, he was drafted and ended up in Germany doing background checks for the Army, and picked up German. You know, because why not?

He came home and got a PhD in French and became a professor. Years later, he was called as a mission president in Catania, Italy. Then he was a missionary in Romania. He struggled with Romanian - I remember him saying, "Whoever said Romanian is a romance language was full of baloney!" But hey, he was probably in his 70's, and it was the first time a language had been hard for him in his life.

Lige wants to grow up to be like his great grandpa. I hadn't realize quite how much until I talked to him tonight! So last week when I was listing immediate blessings for our family - add this to the list. Lige gets to be like his hero.

Our family with Great-grandma and Great-grandpa Turner, July 2018.

For blessings which He gives me now

I had a really fabulous Sunday yesterday. I've been working with the kids a lot on behavior during Sacrament meeting, and they pulled it all together! We had Stake leaders as the speakers, which meant that Sacrament meeting was mostly English. That does help the kids behavior a lot. But giving credit where it's due, Sam and Martha tried really, really hard. The result of this was....(fanfare, please...) I got to listen to Sacrament meeting!!

The second speaker was an old friend from Capitol Ward. He was Marriner's Elders' Quorum president for years. He spoke about Ministering. He started by reading some emails he'd gotten of Home Teaching reports that show how to minister in a Christ-like way. It turns out they were all from our current Branch President. I, of course, knew all the stories. "I tried to visit ___, they didn't have time for a lesson, but I helped them move a couch." Or, "_____ was in the hospital, then she got out, and now her husband is in." I remember at the time the stories were happening. There was nothing heroic going on. There was maybe some frustration at trying to teach someone who didn't seem to be responding, or dealing with canceled appointments. Or the inconvenient calls from someone in crisis. Marriner frequently felt disappointment that he wasn't meeting the Lord's expectations as a Home Teacher. But sitting in Sacrament meeting, hearing a friend read the condensed version - it sounded down-right heroic. I was inspired to love more. It was powerful! Marriner did NOT enjoy the recital, but as we talked about it over dinner, he admitted that personal examples are great teachers, even if the person is yourself :) We realized that life is like this: nothing we are doing seems that heroic, but by following the Savior, the small and weak things we do add up to something wonderful and inspiring. Be not weary in well-doing, friends!

After Sacrament meeting, I happened to walk up the stairs with President Volk, from the Stake Presidency. Maybe because Lillian had said the closing prayer in Sacrament meeting, he made a comment to me, and he told Marriner the same thing. "We call a lot of people, and we know that it will have an impact on their family, and we see a lot of blessings for those families. But of all the callings we've made...we just see so many blessings for your family. It's amazing to see." I wholeheartedly agreed with the amazing-ness of it, and then we had to part ways.

I wish I could have asked him to explain that a little bit more. Because I'll be honest - I see blessings leading us to this point. I see how this will bless our family in the long-run. But in the present, I've seen a lot more of the glory of sacrifice and doing hard things than blessings. Well, the conversation made me think, and I'm going to count my blessings a bit now.

Blessings which He gives me now:

• Bi-lingual children
• Experiencing a different culture without actually having to move! :)
• Lots of wonderful new friends. I am so, so, so thankful for the chance to get to know these wonderful people. Especially my wonderful peeps in Primary.
• We can talk even BETTER now with our mouths full than we could before! Ok, it's sorta funny, but reaching a more competent level at ASL has been a blessing to us in our home, not just at church. The other day, one of my darling middle-schoolers had some issue. Marriner and I quickly had a silent pow-wow and handled the situation with unity and love. That was a blessing, indeed.
• All of us get to do things and have responsibilities we wouldn't have otherwise had. I'm doing Activity Days AND Primary singing time. Marriner gets to be Branch President AND Young Men's president (ha!) Lige leads the music in Sacrament meeting. In ASL. I mean, how cool is that? Ellis plays the piano for Primary. Lillian said the closing prayer in Sacrament meeting. Seeing my kids learn and grow in leadership and confidence is great. They've always been developing their talents, and now they are getting chances to use them!
• Here's a funny one: I'm finally getting to practice the organ! I took organ lessons from my mom while she was in college (it was a graduation requirement for her) but never got really comfortable playing the pedals. I haven't actually played the organ a lot for church in my life. When I have, I've usually done the pianist-cheat-method. In the branch, I play organ prelude, but not the hymns for singing. This means I don't have to practice hymns, and can just play organ music, and by gum, I'm getting better at it! It makes me happy every Sunday!
• One-on-one time. For example - Ellis is almost 12, and will be entering the Young Women program. She's gotten a lot of individualized attention for this transition! At New Beginnings, she came home feeling like a queen. All of my children have been able to have a lot more one-on-one and small group mentoring. They have a lot of wonderful adult role-models that they get to know well. Everyone from Lige, who is sometimes the only young man on Sunday, to Martha, who is sometimes the only nursery child. 
• Our family has been strengthened. 
• The first way is that we've done something hard together. We're closer together because of it.
• Because we're not yet fluent in ASL, we're not able to rely on the church to teach our family the gospel as much as before. Our gospel teaching in the home has improved, and we've all grown as we teach each other and overcome challenges with faith together.
• Increased reliance on the  Holy Ghost - when you can't do things yourself, you have to ask God to help, and that's a fabulous experience to have almost every day.
• We are doing something exciting! We wake up every day with something big and important to work on.
• There have been so many day-to-day blessings - some noticed, some not. 

Ok, that's a pretty long list. I'm going to have to agree - we're getting more blessings than I would have imagined for the year 2018. It's pretty fabulous. Life's a little crazy, but I don't think I'd trade it for anything.

Morning prayers

Bwahahaha! This girl is so cute!

We were saying our morning prayers today when Jane (15 months) wandered over, squatted down next to me, folded her arms, waved her hands around for a few seconds, then signed Amen. She looked up at me, very pleased with herself and toddled away. When the kids kept praying, she repeated the process 3 more times.

I'm not sure what she said, but I'm sure it made Heavenly Father smile, too.

Visiting

I went visiting today. I visited a sister in the branch who is awaiting knee surgery, and is pretty laid up until that happens. I was there (nominally) to cheer her up and give her some company.

This sweet sister spent 45 minutes being so friendly and encouraging to me - she taught me signs, slowed down when needed, slowed down even more when needed, all while smiling the whole time. I really enjoyed talking to her, and came out feeling like, "Ah, that was just what I needed today!"

Since I was called to serve in Primary, I don't converse in ASL with adults very often. It slows my language progress down, for sure. But I don't sweat it too much.

Last night, I was talking to my kids about something fun we could learn. They said, "Latin!" I said, "We're already learning a language, and we have plenty of work to do on it!" But they're a little tired of ASL, it's not very glamorous any more. I thought that some sort of goal would be motivational, so I looked to see if there's any sort of ASL certification they could work toward.

The answer is yes - but it costs $165 for the test. So we probably won't do it. Gallaudet university administers the test, where you sit down and talk to a professor, and they grade your language skills, from 0-5. I read the description of each level and thought maybe I was a 2 or 3. Then I saw they had sample videos for each level. I clicked on the video for level 0....it was....a lot like the way I sign...at least, I think I'm better than that now, right? I clicked on level 1, and that matched me pretty well. Level 2 was way over my head. Level 3 was so good I couldn't tell they were making mistakes. Levels 4 and 5...well, yeah.

So that was a good reality check for me. I'm back to being motivated to study and improve again. :)

Part of this is realizing that I need to talk to Deaf adults more. As I drove to my visiting appointment, I was just so grateful for the opportunity to visit her. I was grateful that she would be patient and take the time for me, even though I don't have a lot to offer in the way of stimulating conversation quite yet.

So I laughed as I got into my car. I was supposedly there to minister to her, but she was really the one who did all the service.

Children watch everything

Aww, Sam was so cute tonight during Family Home Evening! And I can tell he's been watching his mom and brother a lot...

I lead the music in Primary. The way I learn a song is to watch the video of the song in ASL (I don't do my own translation, I'm nowhere near that level!) and write down the signs they use. This is called "gloss". There are writing conventions that the pros use, but mine is pretty simple and homespun. For example, this is what "I am a child of God" looks like in (my) gloss:

I (formal) God his child
I he done sent here
Earth live with mom, dad, those-two kind, dear.
Lead, show-me, walk-beside
Help-me find way
Teach-me all things I need do
Someday live with him can

Lige leads the music in Sacrament meeting. He does it a little differently. Since we sing to the church's recorded music (with the voices - it makes those of us singing along feel less like we're singing a solo. And I almost always sing along because I'm holding a baby and can't sign or else she'll wriggle away. I'm actually sort of ready for this phase in her life to be done...) ANYWAY, since we sing to the recorded music, Lige takes his (my) tablet with the video of the song in ASL, plugs it into the speakers so the sound plays for everyone, and copies the signs on the video. (He practices in advance, obviously.)

Tonight, Sam got to choose the song for Family Home Evening, and he wanted to do it in ASL. I pulled up the videos, and he ran to get a sheet of paper. He picked a song and sat down by the tablet, starting and stopping the video every 10 seconds and writing down the signs he saw. I suggested that maybe he didn't need to write down all the signs, since he could just copy the video, like Lige does. But he wanted to have a gloss, "just in case."

And here it is! My favorite thing produced today:

I feel like he's *starting* to get the feel for spaces between words. I love how he copies the way I write "I (formal)". I love all the mistakes - he writes, "I God his child prove right can", and the actual signs are, "I God his child inspiration get can". He writes "no" instead of "know". He's 5 and he's learning ASL and English, and it's all mashed up together into one adorable, barely readable gloss. We'll say it "requires translation".

Here's the song:
As a Child of God



And by the way, he did a GREAT job of leading the song for Family Home Evening. (Without using his gloss even once...) I think we have a future Sacrament meeting song leader on our hands!

Ow.

I jammed my finger yesterday in Primary. We were singing "I am a Child of God" and one time when I signed "I" (which is my index finger pointing to my chest) I just jabbed it at myself a little emphatically.

Is this the ASL equivalent of a hoarse voice? Except I get less pity, because nobody can see my finger ache :) And I don't have any excuse to eat hard candy to help me feel better...

Someone, send me some Werthers, my finger's killing me!

An answer to prayer

I'd been having a feeling of perpetual miscommunication with someone in the branch recently. (I hope she doesn't mind me sharing this experience! It was just such a spiritual experience for me!) And I didn't know if it was just me being overly worried, or what. Last night I mentioned it in my prayers and asked to know how to best understand and how to be supportive of this person.

Today I got a really loving text that must have been hard to write explaining this person's frustration with me, and what I needed to change. I'm sure she must have been scared to send it for fear of offending me. But when I saw it, I was honestly just so happy! It answered all the things I was unsure about. It gave me a chance to explain myself and not be misunderstood. In the end, we both were so touched by the spirit of love that was present.

After the exchange was over, I marveled at how easy it had been for me to not be hurt by the words of correction. How I seemed guided by the spirit to know how to respond. I thought of my prayer the night before, and I felt the comfort of the spirit tell me that these were all answers to that prayer.

I'm super-cognizant that miscommunications and inadvertent offenses are going to be part of my life for the next while. But isn't it so wonderful to know that God is there to help me work them out?

Vacation notes

Some random things from our vacation:

• We were gone for 2 weeks, during which we were mostly hanging out with our English-speaking family. This meant that some of the things we usually do in ASL reverted to English. Martha's 3 years old and has been praying in ASL for 6 months now...and her English prayers have picked up some funny things. She says, "Thank Thee for that we can...." because in ASL she always says "thanks for" and in English she used to say, "thank Thee that". So now she's just melded them together :) 
• We went to an ASL ward in Provo the Sunday we were gone. It was for professional development - I wanted to see how Primary worked for them - how they get the kids to pay attention to ASL. Well, it turns out they don't - everything was signed and spoken. If a hearing person was signing, they would talk at the same time. That's called "Sim-Com" - simultaneous communication. If a deaf person was in front, a hearing person would voice for them. And the kids all paid attention really well. I think that having 2 teachers for every class there the whole time helped a lot, too. At one point, I wanted to ask why they sim-com instead of just using ASL. I saw that the pianist wasn't doing anything, so I slid over to the piano bench and spoke to her. I figured if she was playing the piano, she was probably hearing. Nope, she told me she was in the ward to learn ASL because she was losing her hearing, and she didn't actually know why they sim-commed. That ended up being an awkward conversation :) But I had a really pleasant surprise when one of the primary teachers introduced himself as the son of the past branch president in our branch. He was a cute newly-wed (relative to us, anyway) there teaching Primary with his wife. Awwww...
• The week we were gone from the branch was a popular week for vacations - in fact, the entire Primary presidency was gone. This created a domino effect - since there was no Primary presidency, the other two families with children opted to go to the hearing ward instead of making us get subs for the entire Primary. (Though Brother S. was prepared to teach Primary in case any visitors with kids showed up.)That meant a lot more branch leaders were gone. In all, I hear there were about 15 people there. They had Sacrament meeting, then relocated to the RS room for Sunday School, and stayed there for combined Priesthood/Relief Society. Quite a contrast from the huge ward we attended in Provo! (To be fair, the ward was getting a new bishopric that day, so they had a big attendance.)
• Marriner's dad invited a Deaf member of his ward over for lunch while we were there and we got to meet him. As we got to know his story a bit, I was reminded how difficult it is to be deaf still. Guys, nobody in this man's family has learned ASL. If they need to communicate with him, they write. Can you imagine growing up in that sort of environment? To this day, his mom can't have a conversation with him. I'd just like to say, ASL isn't that hard. If you're ever in that situation, just go ahead and learn it.

Well, Marriner's home! I'm taking off!

Jane screams.

Jane is 15 months old. She is emerging as a talker and signer. She can say, "Please pass the granola" ("Eeee aahhhh uhhhh...ohla!") (she uses this any time she wants food) and, if you ask her who should say the prayer she shouts, "I ooo (choose) Dad!" She can sign amen, food, more, banana, water, mom, and dad. Dad looks the same as mom, but I can tell she's signing dad because she says, "Dad!" while signing mom. Ha ha!

She's very good at saying no. Actually, that's not true. I don't think she's ever SAID no, she just screams it. And if she wants something, but you're not paying attention, she screams as well. Really, if she doesn't like what's going on, she's going to scream until conditions become more favorable. I took her to Lige's piano lesson yesterday. The teacher had a bunch of knick-knacks (huh, had to look up the spelling of that word...) that Jane couldn't play with. Jane didn't like that, so she screamed...pretty much the entire lesson. The teacher should have charged extra for that one.

Jane is not in favor of Sacrament meeting right now. At first, I was a little slow to take her out when she screamed because most of my kids have been able to calm down after a few seconds of stern looks from Mom at this age. And besides, we're in a Deaf branch. Most people can't hear her, right?

Well, it turns out that's not the case. For example, this week I took Jane out of Sacrament meeting and sat with her in the foyer while she screamed. Through the glass chapel doors, I could see deaf people with hearing aids looking around for the source of the noise. Then during Primary, Jane screamed more. I could see people flinching when she did. You can tell the sound is uncomfortable.

I seem to observe that hearing aids are useful, especially in Primary where kids can't always sign as well as they wish, but they're not perfect, and it seems that a screaming baby is the definition of the worst way to treat a friend with a hearing aid.  And yet, Jane won't stop screaming.

So next week, we're going all the way to the mother's room to get our screams out.

(Completely off-topic, but funny, story: my sister-in-law's bishop accidentally called it the "crying mother's room" one time. Which is what ours will become if Jane doesn't stop screaming all the time soon!)

And in case you're wondering, our mother's room has a video feed of Sacrament meeting, not just audio. Hooray for technology!