Whenever I talk to people about this call to the branch, I always explain it, "My husband was called to be the branch president, since he's conversational in ASL, and the rest of us came with him." That's pretty accurate. But I have always assumed the Lord gave Marriner this calling (which really was a calling to the whole family) because of some important work the Lord had for HIM to do. You know, whatever the rest of the family had to contribute was a bonus. (I mean, just showing up is a big deal. There are 8 of us, after all. That's like 15% of the branch...)
Last night I was sweeping and thinking about my Primary kids. I think about them a lot, to be honest. And this crazy thought entered my head: "What if Marriner was called as branch president so that YOU could touch somebody's life?"
Woah.
That would mean a lot of responsibility.
What if Marriner was called as branch president so Lige or Ellis could touch someone's life? What if he was called so someone else could touch the life of someone in my family? What if the branch YW president is the one who can help Ellis through some tough years to come? What if the Lord was just thinking about one of my kids becoming deaf later in life, and he or she really needs to know ASL?
I'm sure there are actually a lot of things the Lord had in mind when he gave us this call - both blessings to give and to receive. But realizing that my love and capabilities could be something important changed the whole game for me. It gives me a sense of urgency to reach out to everyone the Lord has put in my path. My Primary kids. The sisters I minister to. And even my own children, whose relationship with me and the Lord has changed because of all of this. Because if my influence could be the thing that helps one of these people grow up and have a happy life based on a strong testimony of their Savior, I can't miss out on that because I'm setting my sights too low.
And it probably applies to everyone in the branch. I mean, you'd think the purpose for attending the branch would be so the deaf member of the family can participate, but what if....what if you were in the branch so someone else could influence someone's life....
Sunday, July 15, 2018
Monday, July 9, 2018
Don't worry, it got better!
Tuesday night, my sweet husband came home and sat down next to me on the couch. "Sister Merrill,...." he started. For the first time in my life, I had an urge to hide from the branch president! Yes, it was an invitation to speak on Sunday.
Honestly, I would have liked more time to prepare. 5 days with a holiday in the mix was a little scary. I started praying specifically for two things: first, that my talk would be able to come together quickly, that I'd be able to get inspiration quickly about what to say, so I could have time to work on the ASL. And second, that I would be able to make sense, even though I wouldn't be able to practice as much as I did last time!
Both of those prayers were answered so completely. It was amazing to see. My last talk, I wrote out word-for-word and basically read the paper. This talk, I could sign a lot more freely. I had to practice a lot, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I've gotten a LOT better.
One of my favorite things about ASL is the visually interactive nature of it. It doesn't disturb others in the congregation if you sign at the speaker - it's not like someone yelling from the back of the chapel. So when I come to a sign that's new to me, and I'm not sure I'm doing it right, I make a "is that right" look with my face, and a few people from the congregation will nod or correct me, and I can keep going. Once I finger spelled a word I didn't know, and someone signed that up to me. Even in a formal setting, these people are so friendly and encouraging and supportive. Really, if you want to do something hard, get these guys to cheer you on.
As you all know, my kids were pretty poorly behaved last week. We had a lot of family discussion and creative problem solving this week, and things were soooo much better. We instituted assigned seating. This is how my family sits now in Sacrament meeting: Lige, Mom (with Jane), Sam, Ellis, Martha, Lillian. Lillian has to be on the right side of the pew, so we're not spread out all over creation. Sam and Martha may not sit together, nor may Sam and Lillian or Martha and Jane. When Dad gets home, he rates each person's behavior from 1 to 5 stars. We're going for a 5-star Sacrament meeting. It seems a little overkill, but gosh, things went better this week! Whenever Sam started to get grumpy, I'd say, "A 5-star Sacrament meeting doesn't have angry boys in it..." and he'd totally stop! Martha wasn't quite as easy to persuade, but not having someone egg her on really helped, so hooray for that!
After I spoke came Brother H. We had the same topic, and we'd both come to the same conclusion, which meant we had pretty much the same talk. When I say what I'm about to say, I want to be clear that I'm not being negative about my talk at all - I think it was a great talk, very guided by the Spirit. But oh, Brother H's talk was just wonderful! So often he expressed what I was trying to say, so much better than I could. I just about jumped for gladness every time he'd give a beautiful analogy to explain our point. I'm totally not to the point of making analogies yet :) But guess what - I am to the point of understanding a talk on a specific topic that I recently studied :)
Well, it looks like it's my bedtime. Have a great week, I'm taking off!
One of my favorite things about ASL is the visually interactive nature of it. It doesn't disturb others in the congregation if you sign at the speaker - it's not like someone yelling from the back of the chapel. So when I come to a sign that's new to me, and I'm not sure I'm doing it right, I make a "is that right" look with my face, and a few people from the congregation will nod or correct me, and I can keep going. Once I finger spelled a word I didn't know, and someone signed that up to me. Even in a formal setting, these people are so friendly and encouraging and supportive. Really, if you want to do something hard, get these guys to cheer you on.
As you all know, my kids were pretty poorly behaved last week. We had a lot of family discussion and creative problem solving this week, and things were soooo much better. We instituted assigned seating. This is how my family sits now in Sacrament meeting: Lige, Mom (with Jane), Sam, Ellis, Martha, Lillian. Lillian has to be on the right side of the pew, so we're not spread out all over creation. Sam and Martha may not sit together, nor may Sam and Lillian or Martha and Jane. When Dad gets home, he rates each person's behavior from 1 to 5 stars. We're going for a 5-star Sacrament meeting. It seems a little overkill, but gosh, things went better this week! Whenever Sam started to get grumpy, I'd say, "A 5-star Sacrament meeting doesn't have angry boys in it..." and he'd totally stop! Martha wasn't quite as easy to persuade, but not having someone egg her on really helped, so hooray for that!
After I spoke came Brother H. We had the same topic, and we'd both come to the same conclusion, which meant we had pretty much the same talk. When I say what I'm about to say, I want to be clear that I'm not being negative about my talk at all - I think it was a great talk, very guided by the Spirit. But oh, Brother H's talk was just wonderful! So often he expressed what I was trying to say, so much better than I could. I just about jumped for gladness every time he'd give a beautiful analogy to explain our point. I'm totally not to the point of making analogies yet :) But guess what - I am to the point of understanding a talk on a specific topic that I recently studied :)
Well, it looks like it's my bedtime. Have a great week, I'm taking off!
Sunday, July 1, 2018
When it's not all sunshine and roses
I'm thinking over this post in my head and wondering what tone I'm trying to take here. Sometimes, it's a tough day that I can laugh at. Today wasn't quite one of those days. (As in, it wasn't really funny.) But I'm not looking to whine or vent, either. So I am mulling in my mind why I'd write about a tough day, if not to laugh or cry? I think the reason is: to preserve for posterity. So, grandkids - this is what your grandma went through to raise your parents and aunts and uncles into functioning adults. You're welcome.
My kids weren't very well behaved today. Was it the fasting? Was it the heat wave? Was it accumulated stress of Sunday being hard spilling over into behavior? Was it everyone feeling a bit under the weather? Was it everyone getting on each others' nerves all week now that school's out? Was it a mom who isn't as patient as she sometimes is causing them to act out? Who knows. But I've been doing this parenting thing for almost 14 years now, and today was the worst behavior I've ever dealt with.
By the numbers (remember, I have 6 kids):
My kids weren't very well behaved today. Was it the fasting? Was it the heat wave? Was it accumulated stress of Sunday being hard spilling over into behavior? Was it everyone feeling a bit under the weather? Was it everyone getting on each others' nerves all week now that school's out? Was it a mom who isn't as patient as she sometimes is causing them to act out? Who knows. But I've been doing this parenting thing for almost 14 years now, and today was the worst behavior I've ever dealt with.
By the numbers (remember, I have 6 kids):
- Number of kids doing chores before church for fighting: 3
- Number of kids crying before church: 5
- Number of kids put in time-out in the foyer for all of Sacrament meeting before Sacrament meeting started because they fought the entire way to church and then actually fought (hitting) in the chapel while Mom was playing prelude music: 2
- Mean age of children put in time-out in the foyer before Sacrament meeting: greater than 5.
- Number of children who left Sacrament meeting before the Sacrament and never came back: 2 more.
- Number of times one of my kids got in trouble for hitting/kicking in Primary: 3 (same kid.)
- Number of times I hauled a 5-yr old up to bed for hitting, kicking or sitting on someone: no idea. He spent most of his day in time-out.
- Number of kids who complained about walking to the car: 6
- Distance of the car from the church: across the street. (We usually park 4 blocks away. Ok, fine, it was roasting hot today.)
- Number of kids who made it to their bedtime: 1
The day ended with scripture study, which everyone miraculously held it together for, barely. Then we prayed, and I turned to listen to Sam's prayer. I felt something squishy under my leg. I turned around and saw, I kid you not, a big poop that had fallen out of Jane's diaper, and I was on it. It was really, really lucky for me that the little kids were going to bed right then. I was really tempted to run out the door screaming, but I held it together long enough to clean myself up and put Jane to bed. Marriner put Sam and Martha down, Lillian jumped up and cleaned up the mess (which earns her instant forgiveness for everything above). Lige came up and asked what he could do to help, and I didn't hesitate: "Go start making brownies. Now."
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